4 Priceless Tenets to Live By

1. When in doubt, say nothing.

 

2. Trust that “gut feeling”. Your subconscious picks up on so much more than you realize.

 

3. With rare exception, less is almost always more. You can always add in the future, but never subtract from the past.

 

4. Try to please everyone and you please no one. Always do what YOU feel is correct.

Great Advice — Controlling Your Reality

“I have nothing” can just as easily be turned into “I have nothing to lose.” Frame your life for success.

Man Protocol

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

      If don’t have the mind-reading abilities of Mel Gibson, there is still hope for you yet.  Here are some universal truths about what women want, and how to go about making it happen.

 

      Security. First and foremost, they want to feel safe, secure and protected. This is what I commonly refer to being a “take-care-of” guy.  Women want to feel safe when they are with a man. They want to feel that he can handle himself in any situation.  This is why women like confident men, because they feel comfortable and secure around someone who is secure in themselves.

How to Be a Good Breaker-Upper

1. Don’t put it off when you know you want to. You aren’t doing anyone any favors by staying in a miserable situation.

L.A. Steakhouse BESTS

Yes, we all know that these fine eateries can serve up a mean steak, but here are a few must-try specialties that you might not have known about… 

The Palm (Downtown): Best Crabcakes. Broiled not fried, and in my opinion the best crab to filler ratio.  These light, yet meaty and savory cakes are served with a mango salsa that is absolutely delightful.

LA Nightlife Hot Spots in 15 Words or Less

Sunset Blvd…

BAR MARMONT

DESCRIPTION: Upscale Lounge.  Non-Wanna-Be Spot; Legitimate Industry Patrons. Classy and Fun.   

8221 Sunset Blvd
Hollywood, CA 90046
(323) 656-1010   

SKYBAR

DESCRIPTION: Breathtaking Views. Classy, Good-Looking, Highly International Crowd. Lounge & Dancing.

8440 sunset blvd
West Hollywood, CA 90069
(323) 848-6025

There is No “Still Friends” Immediately After a Break-Up.

    Once you break up with someone, no matter whose decision it was, you MUST give the relationship some time and space. Things need time to settle.  Attempting to go from lovers to  friends right away is a most naive proposition.  Most have come to this realization after their first few breakups.  However, for those who have yet to learn this painful lesson the hard way, by all means spare yourself by heeding my advice here.

*Ask J.D.* – Giving Thoughtful Advice on ANY TOPIC.

*Ask J.D.*

(Click *Ask J.D.* above to enter)

Trouble at home, work, wherever?? Just need general advice? Have any questions about one of my posts or need further clarification/explanation??  Do share.  I am happy to help.

“Ask J.D.” is an advice column by J.D. St. Michaels that covers an array of topics.  Offering realistic guidance and advice  for all of the obstacles life tends to throw at us.

Ex. Relationships, Work, Communication, School, Life…

Conflict Resolution

When the occasion arises, there is definitely a right way (or at least betterway) and a wrong way to resolve any point of contention.  Here are some basics to help you smoothly and amicably attain comity.

13 Excellent and EASY Ways to Lift Your Mood When Life Hands You Lemons.

  …and no, making lemonade isn’t one of them.  F*ck lemonade.  Here’s what you do-

   Quick Disclaimer: There is a lot more science and psychology behind many of these tips I’m about to give you, but being that I am neither vying for a Pulitzer nor trying to bore you to death, I am going to spare you most of that business and just hit you with it.  That work??  Great.  Here are some things you can do to instantly lift your mood. They work, and the more the merrier (so to speak). Ehem.

   Number one…

1. Force a Smile; Fake a Laugh. As silly as this sounds, it’s been scientifically proven that both smiling and laughter produce mood lifting chemicals in the brain…and so does FAKING it! No joke.  This physiological reaction is so deeply engrained in your system that even a fake smile, or fake laughter will trigger the release of serotonin, endorphins along with other mood and health boosting chemicals.

2. Smell the Roses.  Yes, certain scents can quickly and easily lift your mood.  The smell of fresh roses is a prime example.  Splurge and buy yourself a bouquet, it adds to the decor of any room, and you can take a big whiff every time you pass by. Also try: Rosemary, Basil, or Mint.

Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life.

We all know the classic maxim, “Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.”  Well think and act like the person you want to be.  Who is to tell you you’re wrong??

“Wait, you’re not an outgoing person.”

“I’m being outgoing now, aren’t I?”

   The phrase, “That’s not me,” is a logical fallacy.  What one is really saying is, “That is not the kind of choice I have made in the past.” Yes, there is a certain value placed on consistency.  However, that parochial value is vastly outweighed by the need for utility.  We’ve all heard the maxim, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”  Well in that same vein, it follows, that, “If it IS broke, fix it ya jackass!”

   Your only true limitations while on this earth are what you can do physically.  You may not be able to slam dunk.  Okay, get over it.  Everything else is a mental game.  With just a few tweaks (doses of reality) regarding the way you perceive yourself and the world around you, it is possible to achieve all that you desire in life.

“When It Rains, It Pours.”

WHY?!? Because when you are confident, busy and fairly aloof, that is when you are your most attractive.  This concept has nothing to do with being an a-hole or unapproachable, it simply is a result of your self-assured ability to independent.  Think about it, what’s more sexy than a person who is comfortable with themselves and unlike 98% of the population, not desperate.

Obvious Points That Often Elude Us and Warrant Reminder.

Each of the following points should compel you to say “duh” after reading; but it is quite amazing how we manage to turn a blind eye to the obvious from time to time.

 

1. People who truly care about you won’t kick you when you’re down.

Great Latin Quotes & Sayings Everyone Should Know.

In vino veritas: (in WEE-no WEH-ree-tuhs).  “In wine there is truth.”  By anonymous.

Sic semper tyrannis!: (sik SEM-per tee-RUN-nees).  “Thus always to tyrants!”  Exclaimed by John Wilkes Booth right before assassinating President Lincoln.

Cogito ergo sum: (KO-ghee-to ER-go soom).  “I think therefore I am.”  Rene Descartes, philosopher.

Less is More: Market Theory Applied to Affection.

Disclaimer: I am certainly not advocating being an asshole-recluse; but explaining a basic human behavior, its general effects and the motives behind it. There is a time and place for everything, and always in moderation.

     The basic principle is that the less you give, affection, praise, material gifts, time etc.- the more weight it has when you do.  Think about it.

STANDARDS- Make ‘em and Keep ‘em

   For this, I use employ pole-vaulting metaphor. You have to set standards. There must be a certain level of treatment and respect that you demand from everyone in your life—especially anyone you are dating and so on. If you don’t raise the bar, so to speak, and require to be treated with the utmost care and respect, you won’t get it. Naturally people are lazy and inclined to put in the minimal amount of effort required to attaining a goal. And generally it makes sense, why spend more time and effort than necessary? Afterall, “time is money.” 

Hyde Lounge- Staples Center

The new Hyde Lounge at the Staples Center is the perfect, and I now feel ONLY, way to watch a sporting event (aside from front row seats).  You get to view the game from what would otherwise be a luxury box for a fraction of the price.  Ex. $15 admission for a Kings game. However, it’s more than that.

My Favorite JDSM Quotes

Admittedly narcissistic, here is a collection of some of my most favorite lines that I’ve come up with over the years.  Yes, these are 100% original statements coined by me, J.D. St. Michaels.  Some are just well-worded observations, some thought-provoking positions, and others just plain silly.  Hope you enjoy them as much as my friends and I have–

Droppin’ Knowledge

• How to fix the U.S. Economy.  Three-words: De-criminalize, regulate & tax.

• If you have to explain, your joke wasn’t funny.

• Never lie to protect yourself from a truth that wasn’t hurting you.

• All’s fair in love, war, and poker.

• A well-provided for people never harbor inclinations to declare war.

• When you’re given the out, show a little respect and take it.

Top 6 Relationship Deal-Breakers.

1.  Excessive Jealousy/Insecurity.  Usually they go hand in hand.  You’ll never be able to win with this person, so just don’t even go there.

2. Bad Sniffs. You absolutely must like they way they smell. Yes, even when they’re funky–especially when they’re funky; cuz that’s gonna happen.  If you don’t, it’s never gonna work out.  True story.

3. Bad Sleeps.  Where you just can’t sleep well next to someone.  No matter how hard you try the puzzle pieces are not fitting together and you’re left spending your night flopping around like a fish out of water.  Let me tell you, this is NOT going to be long-lasting relationship.

4. Extreme Selfishness. The “All About ME!” mentality isn’t going to change.  Jump ship!

5. Unneccessary Lying.  Lying when there is no conceivable purpose to hide the truth??  Whoa!   This person is clearly a psychopath.  Get the EFF outta there and if applicable, think about changing your locks.

6. Serial Cheating. Once can be chalked up to human error. Anything more than that is a lifestyle.

*Not in any particular order.

The California Bar: 30% Law, 20% Composure, 50% Point Headings.

THE MENTAL GAME. 

  Here is what I hate most about taking the Bar: You must necessarily be 110% selfish.  No one on the outside ever really understands that.   Grounds clearly not ripe for a nascent relationship. 

   Not to mention the concomitant stress that only grows as the day comes near; realizing that you have spent 3 years and unbelievable sweat, blood and tears for a mere 18 hour exam that will either validate your sacrifices or leave you $250,000.00 in debt and looking for a new career. 

L.A. Lunch Dates

The Porch Restaurant (House of Blues), Sunset Strip. Delicious down-home Cajun style cooking served in a vibrant Louisiana country-house veranda type setting. The Pan-Seared Voodoo Shrimp and White Chocolate Banana Bread Pudding are to die for!! 
http://www.houseofblues.com/venues/clubvenues/sunsetstrip/dining.php

 
 

Terrific L.A. Date Ideas

The Magic Castle. An evening of magical enchantment. If you can find a way to get invited to this up-scale highly exclusive member’s only club, it is an experience you will never forget. Magic and mystery exist at every turn in this extravagant and whimsical establishment.

What’s NOT OK:

What’s NOT OK:   <–Click here for a list of  What’s NOT OK.

PUBLIC SPEAKING

   It is the No. 1 fear of Americans. Death is second. As Jerry Seinfeld would say, “…that means, if you are at a funeral, you’d rather be the person in the box than giving the speech.”

   Lord knows it can certainly feel that way. And I’m not talking to the people who “sometimes get butterflies.” I’m talking to the people who dread giving a speech months in advance, who will do anything to get out of speaking or reading in class or who forget to breathe and have to catch their breath mid-speech.

Diatus

DIATUS (dye-ey-tuhs) noun: Also known as a “dating-hiatus.”  A temporary break from one’s dating or love life.

   Recently I have come to the conclusion that the dating system is flawed.  At least for those who swim in the post-grad pool. 

   Here’s how it used to work: You have classes with someone,  run in the same circles, or have some other organic social connection that provides ample interaction and the ability to get to know and befriend that person first; and out of that pre-established compatibility develops romance.

Thank You Board

Open forum to give thanks & proper credit where due. Even if its a stranger at the grocery store, you never know, they might see it one day… So feel free to boost your karma and throw it out there-

via Thank You Board.

See also: PAYING IT FORWARD. One Random Act  of Kindness Per Diem.

Covell- Wine Bar

Only a few months old, Covell is a very small but intimate wine bar where the bartenders get to know you, figure out what you like, and present you with numerous tasters until you find the wine of your choosing.  In the Los Feliz area, and offers about 4 savory french snacks including croque-monsieur, cheese plate, and an antipasto type plate (yes, I realize not French, but don’t recall the French name for it).  Excellent service.  Their schtick is that you don’t buy a glass until you are satisfied.  Plus the bartenders are a wealth of recommendations.  Fun, tasty and intoxicating (literally).  Two thumbs up.

4628 Hollywood Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90027-5408
(323) 660-4400

Reading Body Language: By Nick Morgan

The Truth Behind the Smile and Other Myths – When Body Language Lies

9/30/2002

Being able to read “nonverbal communication”—body language—is essential in business dealings. Problem is, we usually interpret a smile or lack of eye contact through an emotional screen, not a scientific one. Sometimes a smile is a sign of happiness—and sometimes it’s a flash of contempt. Here is what modern communications science has to say about the myths of body language.

by Nick Morgan

Trendy & Upscale L.A. Dining

The BAZAAR @ SLS 

Located in prime Beverly Hills real estate, this restaurant certainly lives up to its name. The decor is classy yet thought provoking (note the potted ferns hanging from the pillars above). It is the food, however, that truly embodies the namesake.

Ideas for How To Get Off an Impanelled Jury… Or at Least Make Things More Interesting.

1. Start scratching yourself all over as if you had fleas or some (possibly contagious) skin disease.
2. During deliberations, take out a tube of bright red lipstick and start putting it all over your face as you stare blankly into space.

DO THE RIGHT THING

   As Spike Lee would say. And by that, I mean being yourself and doing the right thing even when not noticed or appreciated. This type of doing the right thing is a quality of the especially noble. This is a great practice in that it reveals true character.

Pick Your Poison- Looks AREN’T Everything

Here is why dating in Los Angeles is so challenging. It is because good-looking people (Gap commercial quality and above) generally fall into one of these categories:

The Lounge @ the W Hotel- Hollywood

As I walked into the W Lounge on Grammy night this past February, and after exchanging nods with Slash (that’s right), the first thing that came to mind was the movie Scarface.  Something about the 70ft ceilings, larger than life icicle chandelier, and delightfully gaudy red carpeted winding staircase just took me there.

Articles You Wanna Read:

What topics would you, the reader, like to see me address?? Try to be as specific as possible, but feel free to hit me with anything. I am always up for a challenge-

BOTTEGA LOUIE.

BOTTEGA LOUIE. The non-L.A., L.A. restaurant. Not only is the food delicious (and surprisingly affordable) but the sixty foot ceilings and large open dining room make you feel like you’re dining in an upscale Manhattan eatery.