*Ask J.D.*

With an extraordinarily diverse background and well-studied on all aspects of human behavior, I’ve been the go-to for advice with my friends on all matters of life. I offer honest and thoughtful advice that, so far, has yet to be unappreciated. I now open my services to the public at large. Totally free, my reward is that I hopefully help improve someone’s life, even in the smallest way-

The Dangerous Beauty of Nature

Taken by Yours Truly in Edmond, Oklahoma, May 23, 2013. Three days after the Moore tornado struck a mere 25 miles away.

Less Is More.

Ladies. Less is always more. When in doubt, say nothing, do nothing. And don’t answer questions that were never asked. Words to live by.

 

LA County’s Next District Attorney

Not only do I completely agree with all of Mr. Jackson’s policies and beliefs, I worked for him at the District Attorney’s office and can verify that he is 100% genuine and everything we need in a District Attorney. He’s a trial lawyer, not a politician, and Alan Jackson lives and breathes justice, honor, and humanity. I could not think of ANYONE more qualified to protect the citizens of Los Angeles County. Knowing this man personally, I can say without reservation, that no one else will work as earnestly and tirelessly to promote our safety and well-being as Alan Jackson. Be sure to vote for Alan Jackson on November 6th.

VOTE ALAN JACKSON 2012

Cracks me up every time.

The Perfect Gift.

Having trouble figuring out what to buy that special someone, sibling, friend, or parent???

I’ve got you covered…

Best Cliche Action Movie Lines

  “Give me your badge, and your gun.” “You’ve got some vacation time comin up-“ 

                        “See you in hell.”… “You first!”

“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t just kill you right now.”

“I should have killed you when I had the chance!”

                               “It’s all over…give it up...” 

“Is that all you got?” / “Is that the best you can do?”

How to Quit Your Job. (With Class.)

Now, this can often be a fairly awkward situation as it sometimes feels like a break-up.  However, it doesn’t have to be.  Here’s what you do.

1. Two weeks notice. Make sure you give the standard two-weeks notice or the otherwise reasonable amount of time depending on your particular job.  Of course, make sure that you have all your ducks in a row before leaving.  Your quitting shouldn’t leave your employer up shit-creek without a paddle.
2. Do it at the end of the day.  This minimizes awkwardness, ensures time and attention, and will give your boss the rest of the evening to digest the situation.
3. Be positive, smiling and energetic.  As the initiator, you have the power to set the tone of the meeting. So make it positive!! No need to start things off on a negative, awkward tone.  Set the tone with a smile and get them on board with your excitement.  In essence, no matter what you actually think their reaction will be, go into it with the attitude that they should be just as excited about this as you are– it would take a real heart of stone to resist mirroring your enthusiasm.
4. The explanation. No need to go into a whole prolix speech about your reasons for leaving, keep it light and positive.  You can even play it like you weren’t looking but this wonderful opportunity just fell into your lap.  Here are some great phrases to keep it positive and avoid any potential for hurt feelings. Mix and match as you please…

Best Music Videos Of All Time

Fear not, this is just the beginning of my list:

• “Sabotage” – The Beastie Boys (Most Kick-Ass)

• “Take on Me” – Aha (Revolutionary)

• “Land of Confusion” – Genesis (Creepiest)

*Ask J.D.* – Giving Thoughtful Advice on ANY TOPIC.

*Ask J.D.*

(Click *Ask J.D.* above to enter)

Trouble at home, work, wherever?? Just need general advice? Have any questions about one of my posts or need further clarification/explanation??  Do share.  I am happy to help.

“Ask J.D.” is an advice column by J.D. St. Michaels that covers an array of topics.  Offering realistic guidance and advice  for all of the obstacles life tends to throw at us.

Ex. Relationships, Work, Communication, School, Life…

Why You All Up in My Business, Vons??

     LOOK, I get what they are trying to do at Vons with the: “Hello, can I help you find anything” business. Theoretically a great idea. But when you’re bombarded by every single employee within shouting distance asking if you are finding everything ok it becomes a most onerous shopping experience.

  

Great Latin Quotes & Sayings Everyone Should Know.

In vino veritas: (in WEE-no WEH-ree-tuhs).  “In wine there is truth.”  By anonymous.

Sic semper tyrannis!: (sik SEM-per tee-RUN-nees).  “Thus always to tyrants!”  Exclaimed by John Wilkes Booth right before assassinating President Lincoln.

Cogito ergo sum: (KO-ghee-to ER-go soom).  “I think therefore I am.”  Rene Descartes, philosopher.

“Step Off Crazy Old Lady.”

“Step Off Crazy Old Lady.”  A poetic tribute to my neighbor. A true story.

There lives an old lady across from my place. She seems kinda crazy, pretty sure that’s the case.  She stopped me one time to show me her door, complaining of invisible dust particles, as if someone placed them there- don’t worry, there’s more. 

Took her a good ten minutes to explain the dust thing to me before not so subtly implying that I was a part of this grand conspiracy.  I smiled and nodded just trying to get the hell outta there, which was about the time she warned me that Satan was bad…with a most meaningful stare.

My Favorite JDSM Quotes

Admittedly narcissistic, here is a collection of some of my most favorite lines that I’ve come up with over the years.  Yes, these are 100% original statements coined by me, J.D. St. Michaels.  Some are just well-worded observations, some thought-provoking positions, and others just plain silly.  Hope you enjoy them as much as my friends and I have–

Droppin’ Knowledge

• How to fix the U.S. Economy.  Three-words: De-criminalize, regulate & tax.

• If you have to explain, your joke wasn’t funny.

• Never lie to protect yourself from a truth that wasn’t hurting you.

• All’s fair in love, war, and poker.

• A well-provided for people never harbor inclinations to declare war.

• When you’re given the out, show a little respect and take it.

Some Babies Are Pricks.

    Ok, look- I know you’re supposed to think that all babies are cute, but really, they aren’t.  Hey, I’m sorry, I guess I have discerning taste when it comes to babies. If you want me to think you’re cute, you’ve gotta bring something to the table here.  

      The worst though is ugly babies.  And you know what I’m talkin about. Ugly babies.  Because let me tell you, some of these babies are straight jacked.  That’s not me, thats just a fact.

   But what kills me is that it’s always the parents of ugly children who are the first to pull out their wallet-pictures and shove them in your face.  How awkward is that moment??  Here you’ve got this 1×2 photo of this cross-eyed, snaggle-toothed, Jabba the Hut lookin’ creature and then the proud wide-eyed mother standing there on the edge of her seat waiting for the obligatory “Awww, how cute!!”

I can’t do it lady.  I just can’t.  I don’t know what other people have told you, but this is real bad.  Take it back.  Here, seriously.  Yuck!

The California Bar: 30% Law, 20% Composure, 50% Point Headings.

THE MENTAL GAME. 

  Here is what I hate most about taking the Bar: You must necessarily be 110% selfish.  No one on the outside ever really understands that.   Grounds clearly not ripe for a nascent relationship. 

   Not to mention the concomitant stress that only grows as the day comes near; realizing that you have spent 3 years and unbelievable sweat, blood and tears for a mere 18 hour exam that will either validate your sacrifices or leave you $250,000.00 in debt and looking for a new career. 

CORRECTION: Being 100 lbs. Overweight Does Not Make You “Curvy,” It Makes You Obese.

   “Big is Beautiful” “Real Women Have Curves” “The Body was Not Designed to Look Like That”

   Everyone’s heard Tyra’s “kiss my fat ass” comment (who is and was not fat btw) or women like Mo’Nique talk about how “real women have curves” and how she loves her body etc. etc..

  Ok, look. If you want to be fat, go ahead, be fat and happy. Santa rocks that look. More power to you.  Or you know, if you have a particular disease or other physical ailment which causes weight gain, that’s fine. Everyone wants to be comfortable in their skin.

Most BAD-ASS Action Hero

My Favorite Playlists

   Below you will find a few descriptively entitled playlists that I have perfected for myself over the years.  I am in no way claiming these to be definitive lists of any kind, nor does each song contained within a list necessarily fit the technical genre description, but I’m sure you’ll get the gist. 

   Anyway, I’m told I have a fairly good taste in music and the configuring of playlists so I am posting a few of my favorites should anyone find them helpful.  I welcome feedback and am certainly open to suggested additions. Enjoy!

Thank You Board

Open forum to give thanks & proper credit where due. Even if its a stranger at the grocery store, you never know, they might see it one day… So feel free to boost your karma and throw it out there-

via Thank You Board.

See also: PAYING IT FORWARD. One Random Act  of Kindness Per Diem.

Random Thoughts & Observations

Alcohol consumption, the #1 cause of not knowing the name of the person you wake up next to.

Why is Samuel L. Jackson in EVERY movie EVER made??

Riddle Me This: Why does almost every super hero or his girlfriend work for a newspaper??

 

Aww, isn’t it nice that “Dog” the Bounty Hunter and his wife clearly go to the same hairdresser?? (Aka, Clorox Bleach and Aqua Net).

 

Mtv’s Teen Cribs aka, “My parents house.”

Jupiter Takes Over the Night Sky During September: Rising in the East at Nightfall, Setting in the West Just Before Daybreak.

Jupiter making closest approach to Earth in nearly 50 years, will be most visible Monday night

(Be sure to check the sky chart below which gives the real-time position of Jupiter and the stars in the Los Angeles sky)

MARCIA DUNN

AP Aerospace Writer

3:14 PM PDT, September 17, 2010

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. (AP) — Better catch Jupiter next week in the night sky. It won’t be that big or bright again until 2022.http://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2010/15sep_jupiter/

Jupiter will pass 368 million miles from Earth late Monday, its closest approach since 1963. You can see it low in the east around dusk. Around midnight, it will be directly overhead. That’s because Earth will be passing between Jupiter and the sun, into the wee hours of Tuesday.

Ideas for How To Get Off an Impanelled Jury… Or at Least Make Things More Interesting.

1. Start scratching yourself all over as if you had fleas or some (possibly contagious) skin disease.
2. During deliberations, take out a tube of bright red lipstick and start putting it all over your face as you stare blankly into space.

Articles You Wanna Read:

What topics would you, the reader, like to see me address?? Try to be as specific as possible, but feel free to hit me with anything. I am always up for a challenge-

Rites of Passage

   Here are some things you should do at some point in your youth to make you a better, more well rounded person.  Some of these are pretty general, and some, obviously are quite subjective- but if you take care of most or all of this checklist you should at minimum be a fairly interesting person, somewhat cultured, and definitely well rounded.  And being well rounded is something that I don’t think enough people are these days. But those who are make for more interesting friends, lovers- as well as people who are survivors and can adapt and overcome most any obstacles thrown their way.  These are good people to be, and good people to be around.