A Japanese Saying to Get You Through Hard Times…

大きな愛と開かれた心から、さらに大きな愛が来る。

“From the heart that is open and great love, great love comes further.”

CLASSIC SIGNS OF ATTRACTION

Disclaimer: This list is certainly nowhere near comprehensive, but here are some of the most common signs and signals that should tip you off that a certain person is into you ~

 

1) Forcing a prolonged interaction. For example, you ask a simple question and they attempt to prolong the exchange by any amount of length after the question has been fully answered.

There is No “Still Friends” Immediately After a Break-Up.

    Once you break up with someone, no matter whose decision it was, you MUST give the relationship some time and space. Things need time to settle.  Attempting to go from lovers to  friends right away is a most naive proposition.  Most have come to this realization after their first few breakups.  However, for those who have yet to learn this painful lesson the hard way, by all means spare yourself by heeding my advice here.

“When It Rains, It Pours.”

WHY?!? Because when you are confident, busy and fairly aloof, that is when you are your most attractive.  This concept has nothing to do with being an a-hole or unapproachable, it simply is a result of your self-assured ability to independent.  Think about it, what’s more sexy than a person who is comfortable with themselves and unlike 98% of the population, not desperate.

“Appearance is Everything” – Truth in Cliches

Unfortunately, this is true. You have made up your mind about somebody within the first 5-10 seconds of seeing and or talking to them. Of course eventually one is going to require more depth then looks alone and a good first impression, but you don’t GET the chance to show off your amazing personality and well-roundedness if you don’t make a good enough impression to begin with.

Less is More: Market Theory Applied to Affection.

Disclaimer: I am certainly not advocating being an asshole-recluse; but explaining a basic human behavior, its general effects and the motives behind it. There is a time and place for everything, and always in moderation.

     The basic principle is that the less you give, affection, praise, material gifts, time etc.- the more weight it has when you do.  Think about it.

STANDARDS- Make ‘em and Keep ‘em

   For this, I use employ pole-vaulting metaphor. You have to set standards. There must be a certain level of treatment and respect that you demand from everyone in your life—especially anyone you are dating and so on. If you don’t raise the bar, so to speak, and require to be treated with the utmost care and respect, you won’t get it. Naturally people are lazy and inclined to put in the minimal amount of effort required to attaining a goal. And generally it makes sense, why spend more time and effort than necessary? Afterall, “time is money.” 

“Frenemies w/Benefits.”

Definition: A friend of the opposite sex that you generally despise and can’t stand to be around but somehow end up hooking up with from time to time.  (Usually after a long day/night of drinking).

Top 6 Relationship Deal-Breakers.

1.  Excessive Jealousy/Insecurity.  Usually they go hand in hand.  You’ll never be able to win with this person, so just don’t even go there.

2. Bad Sniffs. You absolutely must like they way they smell. Yes, even when they’re funky–especially when they’re funky; cuz that’s gonna happen.  If you don’t, it’s never gonna work out.  True story.

3. Bad Sleeps.  Where you just can’t sleep well next to someone.  No matter how hard you try the puzzle pieces are not fitting together and you’re left spending your night flopping around like a fish out of water.  Let me tell you, this is NOT going to be long-lasting relationship.

4. Extreme Selfishness. The “All About ME!” mentality isn’t going to change.  Jump ship!

5. Unneccessary Lying.  Lying when there is no conceivable purpose to hide the truth??  Whoa!   This person is clearly a psychopath.  Get the EFF outta there and if applicable, think about changing your locks.

6. Serial Cheating. Once can be chalked up to human error. Anything more than that is a lifestyle.

*Not in any particular order.

Lessons from 500 Days of Summer.

Entertaining and bittersweet, this artsy non-love story is was filmed on location in our very own and beautiful downtown Los Angeles.  If there are two general love-related lessons that can be taken from this movie, they would be:

1. Read the signals, it’s usually not that complicated to tell how someone feels about you.

2. Be happy with what others can and want to give you. Don’t demand or expect more (because it never works).

Co-authored by: G.H.

The California Bar: 30% Law, 20% Composure, 50% Point Headings.

THE MENTAL GAME. 

  Here is what I hate most about taking the Bar: You must necessarily be 110% selfish.  No one on the outside ever really understands that.   Grounds clearly not ripe for a nascent relationship. 

   Not to mention the concomitant stress that only grows as the day comes near; realizing that you have spent 3 years and unbelievable sweat, blood and tears for a mere 18 hour exam that will either validate your sacrifices or leave you $250,000.00 in debt and looking for a new career. 

Terrific L.A. Date Ideas

The Magic Castle. An evening of magical enchantment. If you can find a way to get invited to this up-scale highly exclusive member’s only club, it is an experience you will never forget. Magic and mystery exist at every turn in this extravagant and whimsical establishment.

Diatus

DIATUS (dye-ey-tuhs) noun: Also known as a “dating-hiatus.”  A temporary break from one’s dating or love life.

   Recently I have come to the conclusion that the dating system is flawed.  At least for those who swim in the post-grad pool. 

   Here’s how it used to work: You have classes with someone,  run in the same circles, or have some other organic social connection that provides ample interaction and the ability to get to know and befriend that person first; and out of that pre-established compatibility develops romance.

JDSM Dictionary: “Fating”

Fating (fay-ting, verb): Aka fake-dating. The art of keeping in somewhat constant and flirtatious communication with a romantic interest. all the while maintaining minimal physical contact and the ability to date others.