Tag Archives: Communication

Why Don’t Women Just Say What They Mean??

7 Dec

“Are you mad??”  “No, I’m not mad…it’s fine.”

 Mystery Solved!

Do you ever get the sinking feeling that you might not be in your lady’s good graces? You ask if she is upset only for her to reply, “No, I’m not upset. It’s fine.”  Although she grants you these assuring words, you cannot help but feel that she is not being entirely truthful.  When you sense that palpable air of disdain envelope your exchange, your suspicion is likely correct.  She is indeed upset with you.

Why don’t women just say what they mean?? Well, as atavistic as it may seem, society has taught women that it is not particularly ladylike to express negative emotions such as anger.  In addition, woman is a highly introspective creature.  Quite often her reluctance to immediately publicize her thoughts and feelings is due to her wishing to take an aside and reflect upon the situation.  This includes self-evaluating the rationality of her feelings weighed against the potential benefit or detriment of broaching the subject.  In that same vein, she may thoughtfully choose to temper her emotions first before engaging in a dialogue.

“If you don’t have anything nice to say…”

            Whether or not she expresses herself verbally, women are masters of body language.  As we all know, approximately 80% of all communication is non-verbal.  Thus, even though she assures you she is not mad, your instincts may tell you that quite the opposite is true.  This is her body language slapping you upside the head.  Communication is of paramount importance in any relationship.  One would be wise to pay attention to the less direct, albeit utterly compelling signals that are often more candid about a person’s true state of mind than their words may be.

Therefore, gentlemen, do yourselves a favor and simply apologize.  One can never go wrong with an easy, “I’m sorry.”  Trite as it may be, these two words go miles with the fairer sex.  She will be most grateful for the gesture, flattered that you seem to understand her, and quick to forgive your transgression.

Why Men Are So Shocked to Learn that Women Can Be Funny!!

22 Jun

Yep. Newsflash. Women are hilarious!

     …they just aren’t allowed to be if they ever want to bag a guy. Men pride themselves in their physical/athletic ability, problem solving capacity, and sense of humor over most all else when it comes to how they impress the fairer sex. So despite being equally comedically talented, women have learned not to outshine the boys in the humor department.

     This practice is reinforced every time a woman makes an awesome joke in mixed company, and is met wtih confused expressions as the men deliberate:

Surely she didn’t mean to be funny… so maybe she just doesn’t get it.  Ok, we’ll just pretend like she didn’t say anything so she doesn’t feel bad for being dumb.  Plus she’s cute, so we’ll let it slide.  

…Now, one of the dudes making that same joke, of course, would be deemed life of the party~

There is No “Still Friends” Immediately After a Break-Up.

22 Jun

    Once you break up with someone, no matter whose decision it was, you MUST give the relationship some time and space. Things need time to settle.  Attempting to go from lovers to  friends right away is a most naive proposition.  Most have come to this realization after their first few breakups.  However, for those who have yet to learn this painful lesson the hard way, by all means spare yourself by heeding my advice here. Continue reading

Conflict Resolution

22 Jun

When the occasion arises, there is definitely a right way (or at least betterway) and a wrong way to resolve any point of contention.  Here are some basics to help you smoothly and amicably attain comity.

Continue reading

Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life.

18 Jun

We all know the classic maxim, “Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.”  Well think and act like the person you want to be.  Who is to tell you you’re wrong??

“Wait, you’re not an outgoing person.”

“I’m being outgoing now, aren’t I?”

   The phrase, “That’s not me,” is a logical fallacy.  What one is really saying is, “That is not the kind of choice I have made in the past.” Yes, there is a certain value placed on consistency.  However, that parochial value is vastly outweighed by the need for utility.  We’ve all heard the maxim, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”  Well in that same vein, it follows, that, “If it IS broke, fix it ya jackass!”

   Your only true limitations while on this earth are what you can do physically.  You may not be able to slam dunk.  Okay, get over it.  Everything else is a mental game.  With just a few tweaks (doses of reality) regarding the way you perceive yourself and the world around you, it is possible to achieve all that you desire in life. Continue reading

Obvious Points That Often Elude Us and Warrant Reminder.

9 Jun

Each of the following points should compel you to say “duh” after reading; but it is quite amazing how we manage to turn a blind eye to the obvious from time to time.

 

1. People who truly care about you won’t kick you when you’re down. Continue reading

Great Latin Quotes & Sayings Everyone Should Know.

19 Mar

In vino veritas: (in WEE-no WEH-ree-tuhs).  “In wine there is truth.”  By anonymous.

Sic semper tyrannis!: (sik SEM-per tee-RUN-nees).  “Thus always to tyrants!”  Exclaimed by John Wilkes Booth right before assassinating President Lincoln.

Cogito ergo sum: (KO-ghee-to ER-go soom).  “I think therefore I am.”  Rene Descartes, philosopher. Continue reading

“Frenemies w/Benefits.”

19 Mar

Definition: A friend of the opposite sex that you generally despise and can’t stand to be around but somehow end up hooking up with from time to time.  (Usually after a long day/night of drinking).

My Favorite JDSM Quotes

18 Mar

Admittedly narcissistic, here is a collection of some of my most favorite lines that I’ve come up with over the years.  Yes, these are 100% original statements coined by me, J.D. St. Michaels.  Some are just well-worded observations, some thought-provoking positions, and others just plain silly.  Hope you enjoy them as much as my friends and I have–

Droppin’ Knowledge

  • How to fix the U.S. Economy.  Three-words: De-criminalize, regulate & tax.

  • If you have to explain, your joke wasn’t funny.

  • Never lie to protect yourself from a truth that wasn’t hurting you.

  • All’s fair in love, war, and poker.

  • A well-provided for people never harbor inclinations to declare war.

  • When you’re given the out, show a little respect and take it. Continue reading

The California Bar: 30% Law, 20% Composure, 50% Point Headings.

19 Feb

THE MENTAL GAME. 

  Here is what I hate most about taking the Bar: You must necessarily be 110% selfish.  No one on the outside ever really understands that.   Grounds clearly not ripe for a nascent relationship. 

   Not to mention the concomitant stress that only grows as the day comes near; realizing that you have spent 3 years and unbelievable sweat, blood and tears for a mere 18 hour exam that will either validate your sacrifices or leave you $250,000.00 in debt and looking for a new career.  Continue reading

“Funiani.”

12 Feb

FUNIANI (fun-ee-AN-ee) pl. noun:  Joe Pescie ala Good Fellas inspired collective noun for the kind of people who crack jokes. Usually used disparagingly.  Those who constantly attempt humor, often to the point of annoyance.

USAGE:

(From Good Fellas) “I’m funny how? I mean funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to f*ckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny?? Funny how? How am I funny??”

………………………..

Correspondingly, one might say: “Hey this f*ckin guy. What are you? You think you’re funny??  What are you, part of the funiani?? You think you got jokes? Who the f*ck is this guy?!??”

PUBLIC SPEAKING

7 Feb

   It is the No. 1 fear of Americans. Death is second. As Jerry Seinfeld would say, “…that means, if you are at a funeral, you’d rather be the person in the box than giving the speech.”

   Lord knows it can certainly feel that way. And I’m not talking to the people who “sometimes get butterflies.” I’m talking to the people who dread giving a speech months in advance, who will do anything to get out of speaking or reading in class or who forget to breathe and have to catch their breath mid-speech. Continue reading

Thank You Board

26 Oct

Open forum to give thanks & proper credit where due. Even if its a stranger at the grocery store, you never know, they might see it one day… So feel free to boost your karma and throw it out there-

via Thank You Board.

See also: PAYING IT FORWARD. One Random Act  of Kindness Per Diem.

Reading Body Language: By Nick Morgan

20 Sep

The Truth Behind the Smile and Other Myths – When Body Language Lies

9/30/2002
Being able to read “nonverbal communication”—body language—is essential in business dealings. Problem is, we usually interpret a smile or lack of eye contact through an emotional screen, not a scientific one. Sometimes a smile is a sign of happiness—and sometimes it’s a flash of contempt. Here is what modern communications science has to say about the myths of body language.

by Nick Morgan Continue reading

JDSM Dictionary: “Fating”

10 Sep

Fating (fay-ting, verb): Aka fake-dating. The art of keeping in somewhat constant and flirtatious communication with a romantic interest. all the while maintaining minimal physical contact and the ability to date others.

Articles You Wanna Read:

8 Jul

What topics would you, the reader, like to see me address?? Try to be as specific as possible, but feel free to hit me with anything. I am always up for a challenge-

%d bloggers like this: