My Theory of Unilateral-Horizontal Attraction: A  theoretical cheat to knowing  who likes you.

8 Dec

I know this will sound a bit out there, but I swear to God tested and true.  Here’s the theory:

If someone is physically attracted to you, people who look like that person will also be attracted to you.

True story. Now, don’t get this all confused. This is a one way street. It doesn’t mean that everyone who looks like people you’re attracted to will reciprocate. That makes no sense of course or no one would ever be single. Nor does it mean that if a person is attracted to you is only attracted to people who look like you. Though you may have a “type” I’m sure you have found yourself attracted to different looking people and vice versa.  So I am certainly not proposing an exhaustive universe of people who might like you.  I’m also not talking about loosely similar-looking people; I mean real look-alikes.  You know, like stunt doubles.  And I intentionally use the words “looks” and “appearance” in my discussion because it only relates to physical attraction.  Obviously a person can be initially physically attracted to you, but then realize you’re a total tool and quickly change their mind. 

   If still unclear as to the point I am making, allow me to demonstrate.

  • Person A finds you attractive, then people who look like Person A will also find you attractive.
  • Similarly, if Person B finds you attractive, so will those who look like Person B.
  • Inversely, if you have the hots for Person C, your doppelgangers will also find Person C hot. (That doesn’t mean it will be reciprocated, Person C may think you’re a dog. Get it?? Its only a one-way, horizontal principle). 
  • So if you dated an Uma Thurman look alike, Uma Thurman herself would likely find you attractive. If you look like Uma Thurman, you will find Ethan Hawke attractive. Capice??

All of these examples are different ways of illustrating the same idea.

   Again, this is not a reciprocal relationship. I am not saying if Person A and Person B like you, that you like them. Though it may work out that way from time to time, my theory is based upon one-way attraction. To illustrate, disgusting stalker Person D is obsessed with you; you could not be more repulsed; nonetheless, people who look just like Person D will also find you attractive. 

   Think about it, this is why a lot of your ex’s have similar looks. You may have dated say, 20 people.  I guarantee two or three of them look a lot alike.  If you think Person D is hot, you’ll think Person D’s look-alike is hot too. How many times have you been able to say: Didn’t I date this person already?? Just with a different name–Now that’s obvious but as mentioned above, not the theory I am proposing. What I’m saying is it works the other way around, just not necessarily always resulting in mutual attraction. That’s why similar looking people are always hitting on you (whether or not you find them attractive, as that would be the mutuality component I am saying is not a part of my theory).

   As with any of my assertions, don’t take my word for it. Test it out. Try flirting with someone who looks like an ex of yours (or someone you know has the hots for you). Or if so bold and in the name of science, walk up to a random stranger who looks like an ex and ask them if they find you attractive. It will blow your mind. *Note, I only use the “ex” example as clearly, that person’s attraction to you has been established. Not because it has anything to do with how you feel about them.

   Long story short, I share this with you, because if you understand what I am saying, wow does that cut down on a lot of guesswork. I mean there’s no limit or cap on who is going to like you, this isn’t an exclusive principle. But at minimum, you will be able to readily identify certain types of people who will be into you based purely on their appearance. And that’s a nice advantage. :)

See also: CLASSIC SIGNS OF ATTRACTION, Less is More: Market Theory  Applied to  Affection.

9 Responses to “My Theory of Unilateral-Horizontal Attraction: A  theoretical cheat to knowing  who likes you.”

  1. sms April 16, 2011 at 5:35 am #

    Remarkable writing. I’ve been reading contents on internet for many days but to tell the truth I never got something really interesting to read out similar to this one.And yes i have digg your site

  2. slot machines March 27, 2011 at 12:56 pm #

    I’m not sure that I understand this. I might actually need some assistance.

    • J.D. St. Michaels March 27, 2011 at 3:10 pm #

      Ok. Maybe this will help:

      Let’s say you know that “Sam” thinks you’re really hot. You’re at a bar, and you see someone there who looks just like Sam. 10 to 1, that person also thinks you’re hot.

      This is my theory. And it proves true time and time again. Doesn’t mean you’ll like “Sam” or the look alike. This is completely irrespective of YOUR feelings about these people (hence, why I call it “Unilateral”). And the “Horizonal” aspect merely describes the common physical appearance (look-alikes).

      Though I should note, and perhaps will actually edit above to include that the look-alike aspect is more facial than anything.

      Hope that helped and thank you for asking. Feedback is priceless.

      ~ JD

  3. jimmy November 17, 2010 at 1:53 am #


  4. MariaRodriguez216 October 26, 2010 at 12:28 pm #

    If this is true you should paton it or something

  5. Nick B. October 4, 2010 at 9:59 pm #


  6. Anonymous July 9, 2010 at 10:49 pm #

    Hmmm…JD…I don't know if I have noticed this phenomenon yet. I'll keep my eyes peeled next time I am in a bar. I'll keep you posted!

  7. Anonymous July 9, 2010 at 10:30 pm #

    SO true!! I've definitely dated two people who looked eerily similar — in fact, there were lots of similarities — both 6 month relationships, both go-getter, president of their frat-types — Maybe now I can find a 3rd look-alike who is looking for a relationship of longer than 6 months! ;) Nicely done, JDSM!

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