How to be a Social Butterfly.

8 Dec

A How-to On Being That Guy/Girl Who Never Waits in Lines & Always Gets Hooked Up.  

1.  Always, ALWAYS be polite. Plus cool, calm and collected. Look everyone from the bouncer to the bartender in the eye, smile, and treat them like you’d treat a good friend. No one ever seems to consider the fact that most people treat bouncers and other service people like dirt and just a stepping stone to their ultimate goal.  “Please” and “thank you” are a must and again, will cause you to stand out.

    Treating the “little people” well will take you far– as it is they who control your access, can buy you a round, or otherwise take care of you… Leaving you to look like an all-star. (Try to get their name as well, so long as doing so will not seem awkward or strategic in the circumstances).

   So very important to remember for: Doorguys, security, bouncers, bartenders, managers, everyone that works there… Eye contact and smile.  Ask them how their night is going.  Comment on how busy it is that night and how you understand that they’ve got a lot of  other people to deal with too… Tip well, and be both thoughtful & courteous-these are your new best friends.  

Also, try to remember little details about people who work at your favorite hangouts  Keep notes in your phone if you want so that next time you go to a venue you can pull up your notes under “Standard DT” where it says:

“T”- Manager. Crazy hair. Saw him in Vegas in March.

Ty- Doorguy.  Just got married.

James- Bartender. Skinny, blue eyes, in rockband.

2. Never stand in line for more than 7 minutes.  The longer you wait, the more your social value drops. Don’t huff and puff either. Politely ask the doorman how long he thinks the wait will be, and depending on his answer, ask his name, and then politely inform him that you’re going to check out a different club, but hope to be back later.

   Half of the time they will let you in at this point, realizing that you are probably of some importance and not one of the sheep willing to wait. If not, actually go somewhere. If you return that night, go right up to “Steve” or whoever it was you had befriended earlier, and he is 98% assured to let you in. If you don’t go back that night, you still know “Steve” now and can likely get immediate entrance upon a name-drop and a smile next time.

3. You are always “on the list” or know someone there.   This is more of an attitude than something that you’re going to say. Act the part of someone who is used to being catered to, but without seeming entitled.  Never EVER act desperate or angry when things don’t go your way.

  This above sentiment however,  is why I strongly advise that the first time you go to an establishment you do three things: Make a good impression, learn the names of people who work there, and tip generously. So you SHOULD after only a short while know the names to drop at all your favorite places, and they should know your face by now.

 However, if this is your first time there and you’re desperate, you can try the “I’m on the list” play.  Not being rude of course, you can try using any one of these lines:

–  “Hi, I’m with the birthday party.”

–  “Hi there I’m (insert your full name here), I should be on the list tonight.) (You can add, “We called ahead.” if  seemingly appropriate)

–  “Hi, I’m on Mike’s list (or any other common male name).”

4. Dress to impress. If you look like a class act, you’re sure to be treated that way.  Again, you want to stand out from the masses.  And anywhere decent in L.A. will have a grip of people trying to get in. Look like a bum, and don’t expect the velvet rope to go flying up when you arrive.

5.  Always get the name of your waiter/bartender.  It’s usually right there on the receipt when you close out.  Try to get it before though or just close out initially to get the name but stick around to use it.

6.  Just as important, make sure you tip  very generously the first time. Bartenders/waiters always look at the tip. Hook them up with your first drink or meal, and they will be yours the rest of the night as well as the next few times you come in. If you don’t have occasion to suavely ask for their name, it is almost always printed somewhere at the top of your receipt.

  7.  Make sure to say “goodbye.”  This should be obvious, since I stated time and time again above that you should treat everyone as if they were your friend and not just a means to an end. So before you leave for the night, wait for “Trish” to be done making those dirty martinis, call to her, and with a smile and wave let her know you’re leaving and perhaps add a “thank you” and/or a “good night.”  (Trish will remember your face for next time and not only help you out ahead of all of the randoms at the bar, she might even buy first round).

  Wait for Oscar to return to you before to hand him the check as opposed to just leaving it on the table.  Look him in the eye, and thank him for the delicious meal. (With your good manners & good tip, Oscar will be bringing you free desert next time). 

   I mean, you want these people to be your friends because that way they hook you up.  You wouldn’t leave a buddy of yours without saying goodbye would you?? Common sense people.

8.  Show face, return & repeat.  When building rapport at any new venue, you’ll need to go there a few times within a short period so that people get to know your face thus ensuring they will remember you in the future.  Once you do so, take a break for a while.  Distance makes the heart grow fonder you know. When you make your big return, they will be ebullient with delight to see your familiar face once again grace their establishment.

 9. Guys, bring a good ratio of girls to guys if rolling with a big group.  Having several attractive girls in your group at a ratio of at least 2:1 (girls per guy) will significantly increase your odds of entry into any exclusive bar or club.  Money always talks, but if your wallet is thin, grab a couple of your best looking lady friends and you should be ok.

10. Ladies, bring your A-game, and your friends better do the same.  Hate to say it, but a group of ugly chicks may as well be a group of dudes when it comes to getting preferred treatment at any Los Angeles venue. You may be gorgeous and a 10 but if you are rolling with a couple 3’s, that velvet rope is stayin’ put.  Sorry, but those are the rules.  And if you’ve been out in Los Angeles, you already know this.

~ This list is bound to grow as I recall some other methods I’ve used over the years. Flirting never hurts either. Whether it be guy or girl, there is always a non-sexual way to compliment and gain someone’s affinity ~

See also: LA Nightlife Hot Spots in 15 Words or Less, The Lounge @ the W Hotel- Hollywood, Hyde Lounge- Staples Center, Terrific L.A. Date Ideas.

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9 Responses to “How to be a Social Butterfly.”

  1. Anonymous June 11, 2011 at 1:05 pm #

    this is great

  2. J.D. St. Michaels June 9, 2011 at 5:53 pm #

    Have anything tips to add?? Always lookin for new ideas-

  3. BradLEEE June 3, 2011 at 8:13 pm #

    So that’s how it’s done huh?? I’ll try out your tips this weekend

  4. GreggStnd October 26, 2010 at 12:25 pm #

    I always wondered how people did this, like if there was some trick or whatever. Ok, JD, will try!

  5. John897 October 16, 2010 at 11:54 pm #

    Very nice site!

  6. Anonymous October 4, 2010 at 10:02 pm #

    This is sad but so true. Especially about how good looking girls have to go out with eachother. Its awful to see one of your friends not get in with you. Rather just avoid that entire situation.

  7. Anonymous September 14, 2010 at 3:43 pm #

    Excellent instruction manual JD!

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