Why Don’t Women Just Say What They Mean??

7 Dec

“Are you mad??”  “No, I’m not mad…it’s fine.”

 Mystery Solved!

Do you ever get the sinking feeling that you might not be in your lady’s good graces? You ask if she is upset only for her to reply, “No, I’m not upset. It’s fine.”  Although she grants you these assuring words, you cannot help but feel that she is not being entirely truthful.  When you sense that palpable air of disdain envelope your exchange, your suspicion is likely correct.  She is indeed upset with you.

Why don’t women just say what they mean?? Well, as atavistic as it may seem, society has taught women that it is not particularly ladylike to express negative emotions such as anger.  In addition, woman is a highly introspective creature.  Quite often her reluctance to immediately publicize her thoughts and feelings is due to her wishing to take an aside and reflect upon the situation.  This includes self-evaluating the rationality of her feelings weighed against the potential benefit or detriment of broaching the subject.  In that same vein, she may thoughtfully choose to temper her emotions first before engaging in a dialogue.

“If you don’t have anything nice to say…”

            Whether or not she expresses herself verbally, women are masters of body language.  As we all know, approximately 80% of all communication is non-verbal.  Thus, even though she assures you she is not mad, your instincts may tell you that quite the opposite is true.  This is her body language slapping you upside the head.  Communication is of paramount importance in any relationship.  One would be wise to pay attention to the less direct, albeit utterly compelling signals that are often more candid about a person’s true state of mind than their words may be.

Therefore, gentlemen, do yourselves a favor and simply apologize.  One can never go wrong with an easy, “I’m sorry.”  Trite as it may be, these two words go miles with the fairer sex.  She will be most grateful for the gesture, flattered that you seem to understand her, and quick to forgive your transgression.

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2 Responses to “Why Don’t Women Just Say What They Mean??”

  1. Kennedy January 10, 2013 at 11:36 pm #

    We lie and are taught to lie. There is no point advising how to combat the problem of lies if the lying is not dealt with!

    • J.D. St. Michaels July 6, 2013 at 11:51 am #

      Kennedy:
      I fully agree, and as I see it, there are two options.

      1. Women get more comfortable with being direct. Softly direct of course, as is the double standard but it is what it is. However, it will be appreciated more than not.

      The other solution is 2. Behavioral conditioning. You don’t need to tell your boss, friend, boyfriend you’re upset…you simply, and politely take a few steps back. They’ll get the picture.

      Best of luck,

      J.D.

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